diamondICE's Xanga

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:15:05 GMT

MOVING DAY

Here is the announcement that nobody has been expecting or dreading, but I'm going to make it anyway:

I'm retiring this xanga. I've been using this blog for over 5 years...! [Although I did delete the entries from the first few years.] My online thoughts will be moving over to Wordpress:
auradis.wordpress.com

I've been considering a move for a while now but didn't actually get around to it until I was stuck at a desk for 6 hours last week answering a phone that only rang 4 times. Looots of free time.

Why "auradis"? Well, I came up with it senior year for a French story that we had to make up. I mashed together my first name and the word "paradise" and lopped off the first and last letters. It sounds French, does it not?

I decided to use Wordpress because it seems to be a more mature...place? Publishing site? Also, the newspaper that I'm working for uses it for its blogs, so it's pretty legitimate. I decided against Blogspot because I although I already had one, I never used it. The style just didn't appeal to me. And I've never really liked Livejournal.
Wordpress' dashboard is more technical, and there just seem to be more successful blogs on it than Xanga. There are disadvantages as well, of course. Wordpress is anal about its templates and makes it very difficult to customize the appearance of one's blog. Even changing the font size and color is a hassle that I haven't figured out how to work yet.

I'll probably still hang out at xanga to read my subscriptions and such, but consider this my fond farewell.

{!}

Friday, January 23, 2009

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 02:36:41 GMT

PUT ON YOUR YELLOWFACE

Ever since Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Films decided to produce a feature film version of the TV show Avatar: The Last Airbender, there has been controversy over the announcement that the cast would be all-white. According to Entertainment Weekly, even Jesse freaking McCartney was considered to play one of the characters. It doesn't get any whiter than that, folks.

If you look through this series of images, it becomes clear that Avatar is entirely comprised of Asian characters [except, maybe, the weird girl with blue eyes], with a setting inspired by Asian and Inuit cultures. I used to watch this show with my brother when it was in its first season, and it was very enjoyable [except for that stupid crush between Sokka & the princess], containing action, comedy, and beautiful artwork.

This is basically the same thing that happened with the movies 21 and Dragonball Evolution. It's as if there are no English-speaking Asian people that film producers can pull from what I'm sure is a teeming pool of actors just dying to get selected. What is probably closer to the truth is that those people simply don't care how offensive it is to Asians and Asian-Americans that this movie will not be led by any Asian actors or actresses when it so obviously calls for them.

Cartoonist Derek Kirk Kim wrote a poignant piece on this controversy that I urge you to read. He draws an effective analogy to illustrate his point:

"Imagine if someone had made a “fantasy” movie in which the entire world was built around African culture. Everyone is wearing ancient African clothes, African hats, eating traditional African food, writing in an African language, living in African homes, all encompassed in an African landscape...

...but everyone is white.

Americans would simply not stand for that! People would complain, and things would probably change. But filmmakers assume that they can just bulldoze over the dignity of Asian-Americans once again without retribution. Well, we - and by we, I mean Asians and non-Asians alike - need to get angry. This instance simply represents how mute Asian-Americans have been as a group. If we don't use our voices, what else do we have? At the very least, don't go see the movie.

{!}

PS. Tom & Jerry are getting a movie? YES!!!! It's going to be live-action/CG? WTF NO!!!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 08:50:33 GMT

XOXO, GG

My friend CZ got me hooked on the show Gossip Girl. Since it came out last year, I've been determined not to watch it because it's based on the lives of high school students, and high school drama is one of my least favorite things. I am so over the petty immaturity of teenagers.

But we had a sleepover and watched the first 4 episodes [watching GG for free online is surprisingly difficult] and the fight was over: my willpower was not strong enough. It didn't help that because I read popular blogs and stuff, I already knew all the names of the characters and actors because it was simply impossible to avoid. I've blazed through all 28 of the previous episodes in exactly one week, all the while wondering what keeps drawing me back. There are a number of reasons.

First of all, GG is a pretty good show. The acting is wonderful, the plot is interesting, and there is a minimal amount of swearing and actual fornication, for which I am thankful. GG also boasts a terrific soundtrack, featuring relatively obscure songs that I love, like "Creator" by Santogold and "Three Wishes" by The Pierces. Although the characters are in high school, academia plays a negligible role and it is often easy to forget that they are supposed to be only seniors in high school. This is helped by the fact that all of the main actors are 21 or over, with the exception of Taylor Momsen, who is definitely scrawny enough to look her age.

CZ commented on how the characters are always so stylish; the fashion is indeed inspiring, but I prefer to look at people, and there certainly isn't a shortage of beautiful people on GG. The kids, the parents, the minions...the only face that annoys me is that of character Dan Humphrey, and that's because his mug resembles a skeleton as much as his sister's frame does. He's just...not...attractive.

There's also a certain amount of admiration. I will admit that I do wish I could be like the Upper East Siders, as in rich enough not to care about anything except whatever drama I've screwed myself over with. But most of all, I want to be like Blair Waldorf.
The thing I admire most about her is her confidence. She rarely cracks under pressure and is in control of the situation most of the time. She knows exactly what to do in a given situation to get what she wants and is capable of caustic insults. And she's not afraid of anyone. I wish I could be that sure of myself, especially since I am terribly non-confrontational. I also really enjoy actress Leighton Meester's facial expressions. Her glare, her pout, her smug smirk, her exasperated look, her doe eyes; her face conveys emotion very well, a talent that I appreciate.
Blair is not without her faults either. She is extremely insecure and thus struggles to control every aspect of her life. She desperately wants the approval she lacks from her mother, who seems to love every girl more than her own daughter. She feels [and rightly so] abandoned by her father and goes to rather extreme measures to try to bring him back home. I think that among all the characters on GG, Blair is the most flawed, which is why I like her the most.

And somehow, I manage to identify with the characters. Blair's issues at the beginning of season one, Serena and Dan struggling to work out their differences...I feel like I've been there. So I empathize. And it appeals to me all the more.

It's kind of shameful to admit to others that I'm slightly addicted to the show after abhorring it for so long, but I guess what's done is done. After all, it's not like there's anything else to watch these days with so many of my favorite shows playing reruns every week.

PS. I've been wondering: does Ed Westwick normally squint all the time, or is it just for the show?
PPS. I also think it's really interesting that not only do the characters on GG have elaborate names like Serena van der Woodsen and Nathaniel Archibald, the actors have some obscure names too, like Blake, Chace and Penn.

{!}

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 16:54:15 GMT

BLUNT TRAUMA

A few days ago, I was sitting across from my friend’s mom as everybody around us was putting their ski gear on and getting their ski lift passes. As I sat idly with her and my friend, she randomly commented that I looked like I had gotten chubbier around the face since the last time she had seen me. Trying to hide my annoyance, I smiled and tried to act cute about it while my friend chuckled beside me. Later that day, I found myself sitting across the table from her again. I was busy going online, but she remarked that I didn’t have as much acne on my face before. I simply agreed and returned to what I was doing, but internally I gave a big WTF?

Was she trying to make conversation? Because I can think of quite a few more socially acceptable topics of conversation than my superficial flaws. Maybe she knew that her son used to have a crush on me and was so glad that he was over an ugly fatty like myself that she was forced to verbalize her dissatisfaction with my appearance. I tried to avoid her the rest of the day. What would she tell me next? That my breath smells worse this year than last year?

Of course, this was not the only instance in recent experience. When I went to my aunt’s house for Thanksgiving dinner, she stage-whispered to me as we were exiting the dining room that my skin wasn’t looking too good. I’m pretty sure all the adults at the table heard her. And, the FIRST thing that my dad said when he saw me for the FIRST time for the entire semester was that I looked like I had gained weight since the summer.

What the hell? Does my face somehow incite people to believe they can somehow insult me to my face without any negative consequences? I don’t expect lies, to be sure, but brutal honesty is not entirely welcome unless I ask for it.

Maybe they’re reminding me to wash my face more and eat less. This reminds me of something I read in a column once. Somebody had written in about a quandary they were facing with an overweight friend. “She broke my couch once,” this perplexed person wrote. “I want to encourage her toward a more healthy lifestyle, but how can I bring it up without offending her?”

The columnist wisely answered that bringing it up any way at all would be offensive. “Do you think she doesn’t know that she’s overweight, especially in this image-obsessed society? Don’t you think that it must have been many times more embarrassing for her when she broke your couch? You don’t need to say anything to her about her weight.” I know that in extreme cases this advice wouldn’t apply, but in my case it pertains perfectly.

I struggle with my body image more than anything else. Every time I look in the mirror [and believe me that’s a lot], I’m reminded that I’m not as fresh-faced and lithe as I was in the prime of my youth. Do I really look so horrid now that people feel the need to shame me into improvement? I spend enough time worrying about my appearance. I don’t need it from anybody else, thanks.

{!}

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 04:42:31 GMT

NO NEED FOR SPEED

I went skiing with my family on Christmas day. We were one of literally 100 families from our church at the ski resort; it was a total Asian invasion there as well as the hotel. I wasn't sure about going but I knew I had to because I didn't want to stay home by myself on Christmas. Boyfriend is out of town so I couldn't even hang out with his family...

The more I thought about it, the more the whole trip seemed like a social obligation; everybody and their mom was going [literally], and since I usually enjoy trying new things, I figured that I might as well give this a try. Indeed, I was surprised when my mom called this trip a “vacation”. I didn’t understand it then, and after I had actually gone skiing, I still don’t understand the appeal. Skiing consists of nothing that I like. Here is my list:

1. I don’t like being cold.
2. I don’t like the snow.
3. I don’t like being wet.
4. I don’t like wearing bulky clothing.
5. I don’t like being cold.
6. I don’t like falling.
7. I don’t like heights.
8. I don’t like to travel at high speeds unless I’m safely contained in a big vehicle like a plane.
9. I don’t like being cold.
10. I don’t like being in physically dangerous situations.
11. I don’t like being cold.

Why is it that people enjoy strapping planks of wood and fiberglass to their feet, donning goggles/gloves/snowpants/hats/scarves/earmuffs/boots/sweaters/coats, waiting in line to be taken up a slope, sliding down and then repeating the process? It’s so monotonous and repetitive and inconvenient and it bored me. Aren’t vacations supposed to be relaxing and not masochistic?

Skiing is like paying to take a beating. Cracked had a list of "Worst Vacations People Actually Pay For" and I think that skiing belongs on a list like that. I was absolutely shocked to find out that a ski lift pass can cost as much as $50 at regular price. WHAT?! That would be like me literally handing over $6 every time I went up the mountain. I would really rather save that money for something a little less…torturous.

I wasn’t actually bad at skiing. I didn’t think I would be [although Boyfriend certainly assumed differently], and after pondering it, I've come up with a hypothesis: it's because I am immensely afraid of falling. My fear of heights is more of a fear of falling from a great altitude than the actual elevation itself. Thus, since my body isn’t used to hitting the ground, it does everything within its power to prevent a fall, and so my tense form stays upright and balanced.

The only couple of times I went down were not from actual falling but because I was going too fast and I couldn’t mentally handle it anymore. So I sat down and slid to a stop. Skis are hard to stand back up in! I was stuck at the edge of a ditch the first time and couldn’t stand up otherwise I would have slid right into the ditch, and I couldn’t get my ski off so I just sat there cursing my fate until a nice older man [who was obviously pro at skiing] came and helped me up. And then I sat down again 50 feet away haha because the slope was too steep and I couldn’t control my speed. Thankfully the second time down that hill was much better. Obviously, the thrill that other people experience while skiing is completely lost on me.

Even though I didn’t get injured, I still didn’t really enjoy the experience. What really deterred me was the freezing numbness of my fingers and toes. I think that if I could ski down the side of a sand dune in a bikini, then I would enjoy the sport a lot more. Otherwise, I’m never going to really like skiing.

On the way back from the ski trip, we stopped in Madison for dinner. My dad had wanted to eat at a Chinese buffet but none of the other families wanted to join us, choosing instead to eat at McDonald’s or simply driving straight home. Like my father, I was not in the mood for fast food. My mom told me to look up some dinner options since the buffet my dad found was apparently too “cheap”. I understood, and found a list of the “5 Best Buffets of Madison”, in which were two Chinese buffets. I picked the closer one and found the directions and was all excited after seeing the other good reviews online.

However, when we actually got to the buffet, it was completely deserted. As in, the only person inside was the server. This was really unexpected, since it was only 7PM. My mom and I went inside to survey the food selection, and it was as if a ghost crowd had come and left already – the majority of the pans only had a little bit of food left in them. Too sketchy, we decided, and headed towards the buffet that my dad had originally wanted to visit, which was conveniently just down the street.

Astonishingly, this buffet was in an even worse situation – not only was it also totally empty, it was smaller and dark inside. Not a very welcoming scene. Unsettled, we decided to try the Old Country Buffet that we had passed earlier. We were all pretty puzzled as to why the two restaurants would be utterly vacant at a perfectly normal eating hour on a Friday night. “Maybe the people in Madison are racist,” I postulated, “ and they don’t like eating Chinese food.” “Yeah,” said my brother, “when we walk into Old Country Buffet, they’ll start shooting at us.” “I hadn’t even thought about that,” I replied with a grimace. Luckily for us, Old Country was bustling with unarmed customers and we finally got to eat. I’d really like to know what was up with the first two establishments. Looks like a job for Encyclopedia Brown…

{!}

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:25:44 GMT

BRAIN EXPLOSION

I've read a lot of weird stuff online, but this one really threatened to make my brain dissolve and leak out of my ears and nose. It's something called Christian Domestic Discipline. When I first saw the link on some web column, I thought it was related to the discipline of children. Interested to see what it had to say, I clicked and was greeted with, "This website contains themes pertaining to spanking and may be suitable only for adults." That made me think that it was about S&M. Hey, Christian couples can be kinky too, I thought, so why not see what it says? [Don't judge me based on my reading choices please...they're unconventional, I know, but I'm just trying to learn about the world.]

To my utter surprise, I discovered that this website is actually about physical discipline between a [Christian] husband and wife, namely the husband punishing the wife:

"In CDD, the husband has authority to spank the wife.
The wife does not have authority to spank her husband.

In all my perusals of literature pertaining to the topic of feminine submission in Christian marriages, I had never heard of such a thing before. Their Biblical support basically goes thus [all taken word-for-word]:

"1. God tells wives to submit to their husbands.
2. Biblically, giving physical discipline and the pain involved is NOT seen as abusive, but is actually commended and pointed to as a very wise thing to do. LACK of giving pain can in fact be abusive in some cases, Biblically. Let’s look at this a bit. In the Bible, spanking a CHILD is not abusive.
3. God called Israel his WIFE in the Old Testament. And spoke of physically disciplining her (by the armies of her enemies, drought, and so forth). Why would God paint the picture of being an abusive husband in an attempt to convince them to LOVE Him??

I would agree that all three of those points can be found in the Bible, and although spanking is not the logical conclusion to come to in my mind, I can see how it can be a convincing argument. Still, this is one of the most disturbing "Christian" practices that I have encountered in my life.

Here are some other gems from the website [bolded emphasis mine]:

"This leads to physical discipline to lovingly keep the wife accountable to her master’s God given authority. After these marriage relationships have been living with the husband as head and the wife in subjection to his authority, the wife always desires greatly to have this type of relationship with her husband, feeling that the husband is showing practical love when he corrects her with physical and painful discipline for sinful habits or other various things. She wants to be in subjection and so obeying means allowing discipline in any way her master/husband determines is necessary.

No matter how I try to picture it, I can't be comfortable with the image of a husband spanking a wife as a controlled type of "discipline". My first reaction is to roll my eyes, because I can't take it seriously. Really? Adults spanking each other as if one was a small child? Give me a break. I would die laughing if somebody attempted that on me. When I try to sober my thoughts, I can only see it as twisted and primitive. What kind of behavior can't be talked out between adults and instead merits physical punishment? Well here's an example:

"Most marriages waste much more time COPING with a wife’s problem areas than a DD [Domestic Discipline] marriage spends CORRECTING it. A DD wife may spend a short time learning not to gossip and backbite, and be ok after that. A non-DD wife may spend all her life destroying relationships. And her husband wastes decades trying to cope with what he should have used his authority to help her overcome.

Okay. Here is the scenario that painted in my head:

Wife: And when I was at the mall this afternoon, I saw Marie holding hands with an attractive man who was definitely NOT her husband. I asked Eileen if she knew anything about this when I ran into her later and she had absolutely no idea.
Husband: Didn't I tell you that gossip is destructive and unholy? Yet you're still doing it?
W: I was just curious...
H: How many times have I talked to you about this problem? What is it going to take for you to learn to stop?
W: I'm trying, really...
H: I don't think you are. More severe measures need to be taken.
W: You're not...oh, no...not that...
H: Prepare to be spanked, woman!
W: *boohoohoo*

Creepy or LOL-worthy? Here's what CDD had to say to the wife:

"There will be commands to prepare to be spanked. Respect his leadership. If you strongly disagree with him and don’t believe you should be spanked, then tell him with a submitted attitude. But even if you disagree, you are still under authority and must before God go and prepare for discipline. He has the authority by God to discipline you – it is between him and God whether he is doing it for the right things or not. (He could be wrong, true, but you could be as well.)

These are some of the supposed benefits of this kind of marriage:

"1) Obedience to God. If a man really is the head, then it is sinful for him NOT to find and use God’s methods of wielding authority properly. How could we use MAN’S methods in order to properly carry the weight of responsibility God gave a man to carry?

Wow. So it can actually be sinful if the husband does not participate in spanking? Hmmm scary.

This one just confuses me:

"3) Protection of the wife physically – Remember, Jesus the head of the church DIED for the church, and He also washes her by the water of the word. A wise husband is to "understand" his wife and live wisely with her. Authority over her means responsibility to protect and love her.

Physical punishment is physical protection? Also, I believe that Jesus never physically disciplined anyone. So what up with the random reference?

This one resonates with me even less:

"5) Children might grow up with the example of a father who loves the mother and of a mother who respects the father. And instead of merely fights and power plays and manipulation, they may see more peace as the wife lets go of trying to fight the husband and learns to peacefully submit and become a vibrant woman instead of the passivity found in most marriages.

I'm pretty sure that if I ever saw or heard of my father spanking my mother as discipline, I would thoroughly die of shock and bewilderment. I cannot see it relating to any of the above words such as "peace" and "vibrant woman".

I would venture to say that being spanked is pretty damn humiliating. I understand the reasons why some might believe it to be an edifying practice, but at the same time, I am deeply perturbed by the idea of a husband resorting to physically punishing his wife. I wonder how many Christians actually subscribe to this way of thinking?

{!}

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 04:30:48 GMT

TRIVIAL FIXATION

When I dropped by the Penny Arcade comic today, I came across this:

It seemed ridiculous but I figured that they were parodying some kind of truth, so I googled "Obama Zune" and came across actual news stories [and stories about those stories] about Obama using a Microsoft Zune instead of an iPod.

Wow, really?

According to United Press International, the popularity of the original story caused the newspaper's webiste to crash. Apparently this is a big deal because Obama has previously described himself as an iPod user, or everybody just expects that everybody is using an iPod these days for music-listening purposes.
This is pretty similar to the media speculating what kind of dog the Obama family should get. Frankly, I was bewildered and didn't care. This Zune/iPod story is mildly interesting at first glance, but after that I start to wonder, who cares [other than obscure Zune fans]?

Newsworthiness, as I've learned in my journalism classes, is comprised of:
1. Proximity
2. Impact
3. Timeliness
4. Famous people
5. Conflict/controversy
6. Importance

I guess dogs and Zunes fall under the famous people category, but it also almost becomes a morbid curiosity typically reserved for those who read tabloids religiously [I would know, I used to be one of them]. Anyhow, I am bewildered by the attention that the president-elect's choice of music player is receiving. Let's get back to more important things, people.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 05:51:45 GMT

THE GIVING OF THANKS

This week at home has been wonderful. It took me three months of living in a decades-old, moldy apartment to become desperately homesick for simply a clean floor and a clean bathroom. But once I arrived, I realized that there was so much more. Apart from being able to see Boyfriend & other friends and having the freedom to actually drive places, my family is at home [although my dad is in Germany right now on business].

Most things around here change slowly. For example, I still have a de facto 11PM curfew, which is kind of ridiculous but my mom can be a terrifying dictator when she wants to be. But the road by my house is finally complete after months and months of construction, my dad bought a new wireless router so we don't have to reset the connection every 20 minutes, and my brother is growing up.

Larry and I are close; not in the way of telling each other all of our secrets, but we've been through a lot together and so we understand each other, although I probably understand him a little better than the other way around since I've already been through puberty and middle school.

Anyhow, I've always been worried about him and leaving for college didn't really reduce my concern, though admittedly I have gone for days without thinking about my family [it happens]. My mom has never been a very patient woman and Larry is a stuck-up brat 50% of the time, so I imagined them pretty much ripping each other apart at home, especially without my dad around to keep the peace.

But things seem to be okay. I realized that life moves on while I'm away. Larry has gotten taller, his hair got longer [I had to do an emergency trim the night I got back], and I can tell that he's slowly maturing even though he's entered that pubescent phase where his parents are the un-coolest people on Earth and he refuses to go out to eat with my mom because he just doesn't want to talk to her [that's my conjecture at least]. For example, he listens to me when I'm talking, and I don't mean just when I'm asking him to do a favor but also if he asked me a question; he's curious about the world. He hangs out with his friends instead of playing CS all day, and although I'm sure that his buddies are not a very good influence on him, I'm also sure that Larry's smart enough not to do drugs or whatever illicit activities boys do at that age these days.

In contrast, he has also entered the phase of needing to fit in. I noticed it tonight at the combined youth group/college Thanksgiving potluck for my church: the youngest [8th grade/freshmen] boys were wearing their large zip-up hoodies and shaggy hair while the youngest girls sported hoodies with the interior lined with fur and the homogeneity of it all reminded me of my own years filled with insecurity and the longing not to stick out too much among my peers.
And as much as Larry denies it, I know that his insistence on transforming into a skaterkid is something that he'll grow out of [after all, Boyfriend went through pretty much the same thing], and hopefully he'll realize that label-whoring does not make him more substantial of a person even though all his little friends dress the same way. My mom bought him two shirts today from either Pac-Sun or Zumiez and although they were size small they almost went down to his knees, but he was still so proud of his clothes as he modeled his shirt for me and said, "Look at my first skater shirt!" as if that was enough to make him better at something, as if all the teens that wear Hollister automatically become surfers once they put on the logo. I just hope he learns before wasting too much of my parents' money, because skater-brand stuff is hella expensive.

All this leads to my final point about my brother, whom I love more than anybody else in the world. I am so thankful for him. Having a younger brother taught me to be responsible, loving and patient. He keeps me from being too lonely when I'm at home or at somebody else's home. I am thankful for what God is doing in Larry's life; I'm slowly learning that even when I can't be there to direct him in what is right and wrong, God is still present and sovereign in his life. I thank God for blessing me with a brother who is more than just the ridiculous two-dimensional caricature he displays to other people to get attention; he's capable of being sensitive in small ways as well.

I'm leaving Chicago in 8 hours and I won't see my baby brother for three weeks, but I know he'll be alright.

{!}

Monday, November 24, 2008

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 04:10:51 GMT

UH-OH ANOTHER

It started with Scary Movie. That grew into a 4-movie series, and expanded with Not Another Teen Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie. I liked the Scary Movies [but especially the third one] mostly because Anna Faris is awesome. Thus, I kept watching the newest parody-type movies in hopes that they would be as entertaining, but I was tragically disappointed each time [though I have not yet seen Disaster Movie]. Yet somehow they still manage to draw me in. This is the latest installment:

Dance Flick

Will it be good? Will it be terrible? Most importantly, will it be funny? Guess I'll find out.

{!}

Friday, November 21, 2008

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:05:29 GMT

I LOVE COINCIDENCES

OMG.
Google's frontpage just told me that today is Rene Magritte's birthday. He painted this:

And I am TOTALLY wearing this t-shirt right now:

AWESOME.